My first experience of closure was actually through a film. “Love Actually” to be precise. Remember that scene where the guy from The Walking Dead goes up to Keira Knightley’s door and holds up those cards, on which he had written about his undying love her? And then he walks away and she comes running after him and gives him a kiss and leaves, after which he utters the word “Enough”? That was when I realized what closure was.
Let me first of all tell you what closure (in my opinion) is not. It is not getting over someone. Closure is, however, the acceptance that you will never be with someone the way you want to be with them. It is knowing, deep down, that there will never be a time where you and that other person will be together, because that’s not what the universe, or destiny, or God (or really, whatever your belief in the determinant of occurrences) is leading you towards. Because if one thing is for sure, I don’t believe that the guy from Love Actually/Walking Dead was over her after the kiss, or ever got over her ever for that matter. He simply accepted the fact that they will never be more than what they are currently: just two friends.
The ways in which you can obtain closure is vast. For starters, simply communicating with the other person, in any way. It could be in the form of cue cards, like Love Actually guy. It could be a song. It could just be a normal conversation. Then there are things like signs. Signs that are telling you that even though the person you are into is wonderful, you just are not a right fit. It could be something as trivial as the fact that you do not have the same taste in music. It could go a little deeper I suppose.
I believe the difficulty lies in actually obtaining that closure. Because there is a difference between need and want. You know that you need to obtain that closure, because it will help you calm the fuck down, you will make time for other things in life because you will not be thinking as constantly about the other person as before. It will give you the opportunity to move on a little in life. But do you want to accept the fact that there will never be an opportunity to be with that person, no matter how much you want it? Of course not! It’s too damn difficult, when there is something as powerful as hope blocking all rational thought, Hope really makes you lovesick. You keep sticking to that little bit of hope, thinking that maybe, just maybe there is an insy-winsy teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy little tiny bit of a chance that you may wind up together and live happily ever after.
I guess hope makes you better off in a way. It fools your heart, by satisfying yourself with the thought that anything can happen, you never know what surprises lay in store for you. But not all surprises are good.
Back to closure. I guess it’s a powerful thing too in itself. As in, once you get it, once you’ve accepted everything that is to be accepted, there really is no going back.