by amortentiaandpumpkins

I realized that if there is one thing that I cannot stand, it is obligation. I detest being forced to do something and, on top of that, someone trying to convince me that what I did was for my own benefit. I definitely don’t feel happy doing it, so how the hell am I benefitting? And also, I hate being obligated to do something I really love, simply because I am no longer doing it for my own happiness or satisfaction, but to fulfill something for someone else.

Take for example this stupid Health course in my university that is compulsory for everybody in their first year. Everyone is forced to chose a sport to do for the rest of the semester. Since I love dancing, I picked a course called “Social Dance,” thinking that I might actually enjoy it. I found that I hated the class, and skipped quite a few before realizing I would have to retake it if I didn’t attend enough sessions. So I basically dragged myself out of bed on Tuesday mornings to go to this class. I realized the root of the problem and the reason I disliked this class so much was because I was obligated to do it. I was obliged to each and every step I took, each turn I made, each movement to the music that played. It just didn’t feel right.

Another thing is when you can’t help how you feel about something or someone, but everyone around is trying to make you, almost force you to get rid of those feelings. The fact that people are trying to oblige you to feel differently about something is the very thing that makes you feel even strongly about what you were thinking about in the first place. Let’s simplify things: let’s say you are a big fan of gummy candies. You absolutely love eating them, and you can’t resist having some anytime you see some. But everyone around you tells you that they’re bad for you, for your health. But the very fact that people are stopping you from eating gummy candies makes you crave them even more. You try and get some every chance you get, and the more people try to prevent you, the more you look for ways to get what you want.

Because let’s face it, obliging to others sucks. You want free will. You realize how precious free will is when someone tries to stop you from doing something you love, or making you do something you love for something than your own satisfaction.