Amortentia and Pumpkins

Human's have approximately 12,000-50,000 thoughts a day. I'm just trying to get as much of mine out as possible.

Month: April, 2013

Being broke is the best diet

by amortentiaandpumpkins

You know that saying, where something is “both a blessing and a curse?” I feel like being broke really epitomizes this saying. Of course, the curse part comes from the fact that you honestly cannot do much to enjoy yourself without money. Let’s face it, everything these days needs cash. Even when it’s just simply going for a walk with a friend or two, you end up stopping at a corner store to buy snacks or drinks. And you don’t really like asking your friends for to lend you money, because obviously, you’re going to have to pay them back once you get sufficient funds, even if they insist it’s on them. 

But that’s where the the blessing part comes in! The fact that you cannot afford to eat much will slowly make you feel less and hungry day by day. You can start surviving on one meal a day. And make use of things you CAN get for free, like free water from drinking fountains. You can finally start your 8 glasses of water a day regime, because you cannot afford anything else! Whenever I’m broke for a weeks stretch, I literally survive on a bag of apples, 5 packs of Indomei noodles and a shit load of water. And I realize the blessing when I step on the weighing scale to find that I have lost almost 2 kg. No joke. It’s amazing, the wonders being broke can do for your body. 

Fuck Atkins, no-carb and whatever ridiculous, soul-munching diets are out there. Being broke really is the best diet! However, watch out for what I like to refer to as “Pay-Day Syndrome”: That day where you get all your money for a month and you go crazy in the supermarket, dumping literally anything edible in your trolley, and next thing you know, you’ve gained all that weight back. Just beware of that!

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Inconsistency

by amortentiaandpumpkins

I feel that one of my biggest flaws is inconsistency. 

I feel like it is so difficult for me to follow through with anything that I have started. Starting something isn’t too difficult. I’m a pretty enthusiastic person; I get excited by the smallest of things. More excited than a regular person. But then the problem arises when I lose that excitement as quickly as I had gained it. That’s when I honestly couldn’t give a single fuck about anything. 

Here’s an example: at the beginning of this semester, I told myself that this is going to be the year where I will be consistent; I will attend every single class, get good grades as a result of this and working hard and most importantly, I will have followed through something to the end. But then, like always, I fuck everything up. I don’t know whether it’s me or the universe fucking with me, but when I got my midterm grades back, I realized that despite all the work and effort and time that I had put into my studies literally did not reap any rewards for me. Extremely discouraged by this, I stopped everything. I rarely went to class. I stopped completing most of my assignments. I half-arsed all my presentations. I just couldn’t be fucked. But then I realized, this isn’t helping either. Maybe when I was doing things right, I wasn’t actually doing them properly or something. I don’t know. But I feel like often I get so discouraged (whether it’s grades, or things people say to me, or just other factors) that I just feel like giving up.

But I have come to realize, that there is only one person that I can blame for my inconsistency: myself.

I realize can’t control what people say, or what my professors make of my abilities, or what the universe suddenly decides to conjure up my way. But I CAN control how I react to these things. I CAN control my emotions to some extent. I CAN start making more of an effort to drown out any words or actions of discouragement towards me, and start motivating myself. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that writing this blog will require a high level of consistency, something which I don’t exactly have the best track record for. But I guess I’ll try my best to stay consistent and post things as often as possible. 

So… wish me luck? 

The Mountain & Valley Theory

by amortentiaandpumpkins

Do you ever feel like when you’ve hit rock bottom, you see this ray of hope? Like you know that even though things are pretty shitty right now, things WILL turn around? Of course you have. Everybody has. Even when you feel like there is nothing you can do to make anything better, deep inside you know that time heals all wounds. You will pick yourself up, hold your head up high and walk on towards better things. So when you’re sad, you’re kind of happy too.

However…

Now you’re happy. You’re in a good place in your life. You feel like you’ve got all your shit sorted. Everything seems wonderful. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. Hallejuah. But then BAM. Your thoughts go into full speed. You start thinking about the future. The near future. The fact that what goes around comes around (I’m sorry to quote a song title, but it’s just so fitting!). You realize that because things are so good now, something terrible is BOUND to happen soon. You don’t even know how soon. Just soon. And so, while you’re at a happy place, the mere thought of something bad happening to you soon makes you feel sad. So when you’re happy, you reach a point where you’re sad, even though you’re at this happy stage.

I feel like I go through this all the time. I feel this constant cycle almost everywhere. When I am at a good place, I feel like the euphoria lasts so momentarily that it feels like it was never there in the first place. And when I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom, the thought of happiness makes me feel like I’m going insane. It’s such a strange predicament, and the worst part is that besides trying not to think about it constantly (which for me, it seems, is almost impossible), there really is no way of avoiding it.

Sorry if I have fucked up your mind.